Great-great Uncle (my grandfather’s uncle): “I want to be a great-great-GREAT uncle before I die.”
Brother: “Philip, it looks like you have to get married.”
Grandma: “You don’t have to be married for that.”
Great-great Aunt: “Did you know that cinco means five in Puerto Rican?”
Mom: “His blood makes funny noises when it comes out.”
Image from http://www.flickr.com/photos/warrantedarrest/ / CC BY 2.0
